"Sharing can be a way of healing. Grief and loss can isolate,
anger even alienate. Shared with others, emotions unite
as we see we aren't alone. We realize others weep with us."
~Susan Wittig Albert

Through our writing, we walk out of the darkness into the light
together, one small step at a time, recording history, educating
America, and we are healing.
~CJ/Todd Dierdorff



Sunday, August 31, 2014

Monsoon Delight: by Loyd Cates

Monsoon Season During Vietnam War







This is the peak of the monsoon season in South Vietnam. It is miserable in the jungle.












Monsoon Delight

by Loyd Cates

The rain is relentless day after day
Nothing you do keeps the ringworm away
Jungle rot eats at your crotch
All you can do is scratch and watch

You share your blood with the devious leech
They affix themselves where you can’t reach
While those nasty bastards suck you dry
The relentless rain conceals the sky

Just trying to eat becomes a chore
Go away rain, you relentless whore
The water flows like a flooded creek
I ain’t slept in a friggin’ week

Rusty gear will get you killed
Cleaning your rifle becomes a skill
But you better do it if you want to live
You only have one life to give

Big assed mosquitoes have one hell of a bite
They swarm your body both day and night
You do what you can just to endure
But they are a plague, that’s for damn sure

No matter how wet it’s always hot
This humid air is thick as snot
I am sick of this rain but it don’t matter
The mosquitoes and leeches just keep getting fatter

One of these days I will board that jet
Never again will my ass be wet
This relentless rain, months of it
Monsoon rain, I’m sick of this shit.















SSG Cates RVN '69-'70
199th Light Infantry Brigade D5/12


Also by Loyd Cates:

“I am only one, but I am one. I can't do everything, but I can do something. The something I ought to do, I can do, and by the grace of God, I will.” ~Everett Hale


Add your opinion, thought, or comment, about this post. You are also invited to write about anything you want to share. Send it to me in an e-mail and I will be proud to post it for you.

Memoirs From Nam is YOUR blog.


Saturday, August 30, 2014

Maybe Tomorrow: by Loyd Cates

Vietnam Vet Reading a Letter From Home

Perhaps the most overlooked wound of war is a broken heart. 

We all lived for the day we would return to "the world" to be reunited with our spouse or girlfriend, families and life-long friends. It motivated us, we dreamed about it, and it gave us a reason to survive.

I suspect most of us knew someone who received a "Dear John" letter during his tour. 
I can't imagine what goes on inside the mind of a young man whose entire world is turned upside down by a few written words from the person he lived for. 

I have often wondered what happened to these men. I suspect the majority found someone else and moved on with their lives. 

But what becomes of a man whose world was suspended many years ago, and yet he still lives? 

Maybe Tomorrow


A fragile high school yearbook 
and two fading pictures 
is all that remains. 
These are my treasures 
and most valuable possessions. 
Each day they become more cherished. 

Some would say I am approaching 
the “winter of my life”, but truthfully, 
that began the day you said goodbye. 

On the very last page of the yearbook 
is a long and lovely affirmation 
professing your love for me 
and acknowledging mine for you. 
I can recite it word for word 
yet I often read it aloud 
while pretending 
we are speaking face to face. 

My love is so intense 
I do not hear your words, 
I only delight in your presence.

I have no sense of where you are, 
what you do, or if you are content. 
I realize, I do not have the right 
to know these things, 
but my heart never asks 
for permission to wonder. 
Broken hearts are rebellious. 

As I lazily doze 
in my old threadbare chair, 
I am pleasingly disturbed 
by a waft of your sweet scent 
as it floats on a gentle breeze
outside my window. 
I recognize it without doubt 
and it is like candy to a child.

My memory whispers your name 
and my soul is comforted 
by your presence. 
Yes, it is only a dream, 
but it is mine. 
I cling to it with all I have 
and all I am.

Your image comes into focus 
and I am mesmerized. 
You are even more beautiful than yesterday. 
We touch and I am overcome 
with a serenity that warms my body 
and brings comfort to my marrow. 
My world is absolute 
and my prayers answered. 

Is it possible I am conscious? 
Is this bona fide? 

No, it is all as empty as my arms. 
I must dream harder tomorrow 
and I will.

Each day I waken 
to the Wilderness that is my heart 
and I hope, pray and sometimes mourn. 
And then I do it again tomorrow 
and tomorrow 
and tomorrow.
My need for you grows stronger each day 
but age weakens me and I often tire. 
I will continue my quest 
until my parting breath 
because I must. 
I simply must. 

If I had the opportunity 
to strike a Devil’s bargain 
I would seize it 
like a starving wolf to a bone.

After so many years, 
my thoughts debate my memory 
as to the sound of your voice, 
the softness of your skin, 
or even the sparkle in your eyes. 
I can recall the way you made me feel 
as if it was this morning, 
because it was.

Can one so old remember 
the passion of innocent love 
and youthful wonderment? 
I can, or else I am daft. 
After so many years 
and so many dreams 
I am sometimes confused. 

I will investigate no further today 
as I am tired 
and my mind is teeming 
with pleasing thoughts 
that need not be disturbed. 

And if there is another tomorrow, 
there is another dream 
and that is my deliverance 
Loyd Cates
and my salvation.

SSG Cates RVN '69-'70
199th Light Infantry Brigade


Also by Loyd Cates:

Memorial Day: by Loyd Cates



“I am only one, but I am one. I can't do everything, but I can do something. The something I ought to do, I can do, and by the grace of God, I will.” ~Everett Hale


Add your opinion, thought, or comment, about this post. You are also invited to write about anything you want to share. Send it to me in an e-mail and I will be proud to post it for you.

Memoirs From Nam is YOUR blog.


Friday, August 29, 2014

Live Free or Die: by Roger Sanchez

Don't Tread On Me
It is August 29, 2014, and in the past year or so, I have been thinking a lot about our country, our government, and the rising tensions in the Middle East.

It is my opinion after watching the television news on the main stream media and Fox News, that many Americans are not truly informed or simply don’t care about what goes on in the world.

Today, some things are evident to me: the Middle East is a mess, our government is broken, and Radical Islam -- if not all of Islam -- is a real threat to America and the free world. 

I see that the premise of Islam is to control the world in some form, or fashion. From what I can see, Islam is a religion not of free will, but of obedience to men who claim that they have authority through their Prophet to be judge, jury, and executioner.

I am a Christian whose God gives me free will to choose between good and evil, and based on those choices, someone who must be judged in what we believe is a final judgment. But whether you believe in a religion or not, as Americans we should all believe in one important tenet, “Freedom”.
[TENET: a principle, belief, or doctrine generally held to be true; especially: one held in common by members of an organization, movement, or profession]
Now with the battle cry from ISIL (The Islamic State in Iraq), “Convert or Die!", our battle cry should be “Live Free or Die”. What ISIL has shown is that there will be no mercy for those who do not convert to their way of thinking. 

For those of us in America who think that we can be diplomatic, or try to reason with the ISIL, or other Islamic terror groups, we might as well put a gun to our head and pull the trigger.  It will be far less traumatic than what ISIL has in mind.

ISIL has already said that they are hell bent on seeing America punished and made to conform to Islam or die. I say then, "I will fight to the death.  Will you?" 

So I believe we must get back to what made America great, the Constitution of the United States, and pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America. Either you are a true American, a resident living here legally who believes in the American way, or you are not.

There is a real threat looming overhead today that is as real as the evil axis that caused us to fight for our freedom during World War Two.  We pulled together then. Will we do so now? 

True Americans must now be like Paul Revere during the Revolutionary War and sound the alarm. Only instead of, "The British are coming!", the call should be, “Wake Up America to the threat of Radical Islam!"

GySgt Roger A. Sanchez Sr.
Roger Sanchez
U.S. Marine Corps Retired 1969-1991

Other Articles by Roger Sanchez:

The Home Front

“I am only one, but I am one. I can't do everything, but I can do something. The something I ought to do, I can do, and by the grace of God, I will.” ~Everett Hale


Add your opinion, thought, or comment, about this post. You are also invited to write about anything you want to share. Send it to me in an e-mail and I will be proud to post it for you.

Memoirs From Nam is YOUR blog.


Thursday, August 28, 2014

Inside the Wire: by Tom Allemeier



E-book
Published by Smashwords
$1.99
Word Count:  59,630


About the Book:


The majority of American troops in Vietnam were not involved in the shooting war. They did have their issues, however.

Written over 30 years ago, this series of anecdotes takes you through two years in the life of one such soldier, from being drafted until after being discharged. 

From the Local Draft Boards to Nixon’s War on Drugs, it’s all here.




Tom Allemeier

About the Author


Tom Allemeier was born in Lima, Ohio, in 1950. He spent his early childhood playing football and baseball with the neighbor boys, and exploring the woods with his dog, Skip.

His parents divorced when he was ten and he spent the next few years living in Columbus, Ohio, and downtown Lima.  He then returned to live with his father and stepmother in his childhood home until he graduated from Elida High School in 1969.

Allemeier was drafted into the Army in March 1970, spent fourteen months in Vietnam and served until October 1972.

He worked a number of jobs and then, still working, attended Ohio State University and graduated in 1990 with a bachelor's degree in journalism.

In 1996, he returned to Vietnam as a tourist, fell in love with the place, and he has been living and working there ever since as an English teacher at the International English School in Ho Chi Minh City.



“I am only one, but I am one. I can't do everything, but I can do something. The something I ought to do, I can do, and by the grace of God, I will.” ~Everett Hale


Add your opinion, thought, or comment, about this post. You are also invited to write about anything you want to share. Send it to me in an e-mail and I will be proud to post it for you.

Memoirs From Nam is YOUR blog.



Wednesday, August 27, 2014

A Return to Vietnam: by Byron Edgington

Byron Edgington's Return Visit to Vietnam - 1992
For veterans of the war in Vietnam considering a return visit, I encourage you to do so. 

I went back in 1992, and the experience was not only healing, it was energizing, fun, revealing and filled with gratifying insights.

It was, admittedly, one of the stranger experiences of my life when the airplane stopped at the gate, and I looked out the window at a sign that said: "Welcome to Hanoi International Airport."

It was a bit unsettling, but oddly soothing in a way, to know that Vietnam might be just another tourist destination. (The sign was in English.) Indeed, many of the people I interacted with spoke English. This was one of the first revelations. Vietnamese kids study English very early in school. Indeed, I was told that more than ninety percent of Vietnamese people are literate.

I stayed in Hanoi two days, visited Hoan Kiem Lake in downtown Hanoi made famous by a certain Naval aviator who parachuted into it in October 1967, a fellow named John McCain. I drove by the old central prison where McCain spent the next six years as a POW, the infamous Hanoi Hilton. I went to the mausoleum where Ho Chi Minh lies in state, guarded day and night by the same North Vietnamese soldiers whose fathers likely took pot shots at me.

Speaking of which, the above photograph was taken near the national park forty miles from Hanoi. The fellow seated to my right was a retired NVA soldier. 

In the course of our conversation, we came to realize that he and I shared the experience of war. He’d been posted in and around Khe Sanh and the northern end of the AShau Valley, the same areas I flew, and at the same time. 

Sitting next to my old enemy, I realized—as I’m sure he did—that twenty years before we posed for this picture I may very well have flown my Huey over his position in South Vietnam, and he may very well have put my aircraft in his gunsights.

With a car and my interpreter, I traveled around my old AO, visited what’s left of Camp Eagle, (my old base), and toured the old city of Hue’. From Hue’ & Phu Bai I drove south, across the Hai Van Pass, into Da Nang, then to Marble Mountain and Hoi An. The accommodations were first rate, roads (mostly) excellent and when I went in October, the weather was perfect.

The people I met were incredibly friendly, welcoming, warm and happy to see a returning GI. They were of another generation, mostly, so the war was a memory to them at best, a lesson in school for the most part. For those who lived through it, they seemed willing to discuss it, but preferred to move on to what the new Vietnam looked like.

So despite the fact that Vietnam is still very much a communist, one-party country, it has recovered very well from the years of war and sacrifice, and is taking its place in South Asia as an economy to be reckoned with. 

My return visit was a high point of my life. I encourage anyone who served there to go back. It’s a trip you won’t regret taking. 

Byron Edgington
Byron Edgington
The SkyWriter



“I am only one, but I am one. I can't do everything, but I can do something. The something I ought to do, I can do, and by the grace of God, I will.” ~Everett Hale


Add your opinion, thought, or comment, about this post. You are also invited to write about anything you want to share. Send it to me in an e-mail and I will be proud to post it for you.

Memoirs From Nam is YOUR blog.


Monday, August 25, 2014

The Marine and The Cure: by Frank Fox

Frank Fox

It doesn't hurt to include a little humor from the days during the Vietnam conflict.

I remember when we were stationed at Kaneohe Marine Corp Air Station in 1967-68, we had this Marine who wanted out of the Marine Corp -- and he most definitely didn't want to go to Vietnam.

He would go to the library, look through some medical books, and then show up at sick bay, trying to convince the Doc that he had some exotic malady.  Doc easily saw through it and showed him where he was just fine. 

One night when I was was on duty in the emergency room, I heard someone running up the sidewalk. A Marine came in the front door, sat down on the stairs to the clinic and he was gulping large breaths of air. I recognized him right away from the stories the other Corpsman had passed along.  

At first, he wouldn't answer any of my questions about what was wrong with him (this time). Then finally, he told me he had seen a ghost in the barracks squad bay the last two nights in a row. 

Well, I took him back to the emergency room, told him to relax and I would be right back.  I said we had a new drug just for that and I would get it for him. 

In Corpsman school, the nurses would watch to see if we were paying attention when we practiced giving each other shots in class. 

When it was necessary to reconstitute an injectable medication (some came in powder form), we were taught to use sterile saline, since sterile saline doesn't hurt when injected.  We were to inject the sterile saline into the powder, shake it, then we could inject the patient.  (This isn't done as often these days). 

Anyway, the fun-loving Nurses would mix vials of sterile saline in with vials of sterile water, just to see if we were paying attention and reading labels. Sterile saline doesn't hurt when injected, but sterile water will hurt like the blazes. 

So in class every now and again, you would hear someone holler, and the Nurse would admonish us all about not reading labels. 

So anyhow, I figured if I could make his visit uncomfortable enough, we would stop seeing him and his list of symptoms as often -- some of which were female-related, if you catch my drift.  (This was no rocket scientist).

I woke up the duty MD and told him what I wanted to do. He said, "But Frank, that will be painful."  I smiled and he caught on to me and said, "Don't make it too painful."  I told him I would give him 1/2 cc ... in each arm. 

So I went back to my Marine and told him this was a specific new drug for people who see ghosts. I gave him the first injection and he started to wiggle against the needle a bit. "Damn Doc, is it supposed to hurt like that?" 

I said, "Unfortunately, yes. Just rest a bit and then I will give you the other injection."  His eyes dilated in anticipation. 

Ten minutes later, I came back.  He said, "I think it's working, Doc." 

I said, "Okay, that's good.  But I still need to give you the other shot for good measure, you know, to lessen the likelihood of a recurrence." 

After the second injection, I had him rest a moment to let it all sink in.  Then I turned him loose, and said, "I think that will do it. Come back in, if it happens again." 

That was the end of his visits to our medical facility.  He was cured.

Frank Fox
Combat Medic
Sea/Air Rescue
US Navy with USMC
August 1964 – August 1970 (6 years 1 month)


More Articles by Frank Fox:



“I am only one, but I am one. I can't do everything, but I can do something. The something I ought to do, I can do, and by the grace of God, I will.” ~Everett Hale


Add your opinion, thought, or comment, about this post. You are also invited to write about anything you want to share. Send it to me and I will be proud to post it for you.  E-mail CJ

Memoirs From Nam is YOUR blog.


Sunday, August 24, 2014

Homeland Militia Survey: by James Hathorn

James Hathorn

This veteran saw Vietnam some 48 years ago as a weapon control systems mechanic at Cam Ranh Bay, RVN primarily working on F4C-E fighter-bomber aircraft.

In addition to fixing jet radar systems, I saw combat first-hand through travel in country, which involved collecting parts for planes and augmentee duty in support of the Air Police around the perimeter of the base. 

Two tours gave me many opportunities to see and, to a lesser extent, be involved in actual combat situations. 

Counter insurgency operations found me dodging incoming mortar fire, sniper fire, sabotage operations and generally messy war time stuff that civilians cannot imagine. 

When fresh food was available, it was hard to enjoy due to the potential for contaminated fare (i.e. ground glass in sliced tomatoes, etc). But, it was not all fighting all the time. In fact, much of the time was spent waiting for something to happen, while making sure our pilots had worthy aircraft to take it to the enemy.

That is one’s typical experience of the war itself. In addition to the time in a war zone, there was significant training to prepare us for being in it. 

Boot camp consisted of physical training, firearms training, training for capture situations, hand to hand combat training and most of all, self-discipline that would last a lifetime. 

Vietnam veterans are generally in their 60’s now, but the war experience is still fresh for most of us.


This has all been the background for something I am going to suggest:

In the world today, we are faced with a war that is unlike any of the previous wars. This war is asymmetrical, in that it is not state-sponsored, and the enemy is as anxious to die, as we are to live. 

They want a caliphate (Caliphate: a millennium-old dream of a single empire to unite all the Sunni Muslims of the world) that will literally take over the world. 

They indoctrinate their children in this deadly ideology. They abuse their women by cutting off sexual organs, and kill them for indiscretions. They kill homosexuals for being gay. They are taxed until they have no resources left, then they are killed. 

If they convert an individual from faith other than Muslim, they call them apostates (Apostate: a person who renounces a religious or political belief, or principle). The apostate is treated as less than a true believer. 

Our government announced the war is over. The President has withdrawn and critically downsized our Armed Forces. But the war is not over for the jihadists. Their jihad is against all but Islamists and they are all to be killed. 

The jihad is everywhere. The war will not be over for them, until their caliphate is complete. The world will be populated with Islamists and their apostates, if left to their ideology. All other religions and non-religionists will be exterminated -- if America does not act.

That may sound absurd, but it most assuredly is not. Evidence is everywhere. In France, the Parliament is infiltrated with Islamists. In Germany, there are communities where the Islamists do not assimilate into the German culture. Norway, Sweden, Scandinavia are all the same. 

In all of Europe, the Islamists have jihadist training camps and enclaves. The people of the European countries are intimidated and afraid to go into the Islamist neighborhoods. 

Israel is surrounded by Hamas and the Middle East is being consumed by killers. The radical Islamist objective is to make a caliphate of the entire world.

In America, we have seen terrorist training camps.  There are enclaves of Islamists in Michigan, New York, and many other places, that will not assimilate into the surrounding cultures. We have an extreme leftist Muslim in the House of Representatives. 

Our borders are wide open and the OTM (other than Mexicans), (we don’t know who they are), can come in at will, especially through the southern border, where the government will not act.

The radicals are not to be dismissed as an inconvenience for the rest of the world, or the “JV Team”. They can and will be coming here -- they are already here. To eradicate us is their goal.

This message is to stress the urgency of the situation and what we, as veterans and older Americans, have the opportunity and responsibility to do to protect our homeland.

The Second Amendment to the U.S. Constitution is second to the First, The Freedom of Speech and Religion of all Americans, and purposely so. 

The Second Amendment is to ensure that the people have the granted authority and duty to protect not only the First Amendment, but to empower individual citizens to protect their Homeland:
“A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed upon.”
We, as individuals, who are of good standing as citizens of the United States of America, are the designated "Militia" referred to in the Second Amendment (see above).

In the present time, there is a greater enemy than any we have ever faced. It is time for a Homeland Militia to step up and be prepared for what is surely to come. Our way of life is threatened around the world. For the first time, our liberty is threatened more than ever before, and from within our own borders.

In order to keep and protect the freedom and respect we treasure as Americans and expect with, or without, our leadership, it is time to consider how we can do just that.

There are veterans of all wars with the values and skills that can be tapped to make a difference when our communities are actually under siege. There are many of us from the Vietnam era with the values and expertise to contribute once again to our country. It is time to put our affairs in order.

This preamble leads up to a very important subject that could change the balance of the argument over the Second Amendment, gun control, and power of the American people.

Until recently, Americans have been complacent. The vast majority of the population wants to know, “What can we do?”

The time has come for action. We need to come together to protect our families, our homes, and our neighbors. In order to come together, we need to communicate and communication requires structure.

We have to form an organized Homeland Militia that consists of every able-bodied individual. The exception might have to be active and reserve military and Federal law enforcement. 

We have to organize everyone into a national, standby, paramilitary entity with structure and leadership. This entity should be, under ideal circumstances, a functional extension of the existing U.S. Armed Forces. 

The members would be assigned rank, based on ability, skill, and resources (personal time and availability). There has to be a leadership structure with a commander at the top, regional leaders and local leaders, etc. 

Coordination and communication are essential, so the Homeland Militia will know what to do in any situation, where mobilization would be required. 

Those situations would be times when our homeland is threatened by invasion, as could happen with the expansion of the Islamic caliphate, internal disturbances such as what occurred recently with the Treyvon Martin and Michael Brown shootings, and also in natural disasters.

All members would have a verifiable ID -- ID cards should be issued.  In order to be a member, background checks and clearances would be imperative and required, to ensure that the Homeland Militia is not populated with undesirable and/or criminal types that would subvert the organization. 

A lot of the necessary identification is already available for many people. We have retired police, military, and private law enforcement who already have the necessary documentation, i.e. DD-214, security clearance, background checks, etc. 

Applications for the Homeland Militia ID will need to be designed and made available to all potential members. 

All Americans are eligible, per the Constitutional Amendments; however, in order to effectively communicate, we have to know who the members are. A roster for assignments necessarily would have to be created and maintained.

Leadership would be chosen by methods to be determined, but would necessarily have to be selected through the democratic process. 

The Homeland Militia leaders would have strong coordination with the U.S. military leadership. Caution in that regard would dictate that the Homeland Militia have autonomy, due to the nature of the current administration. 

The Homeland Militia necessarily cannot be controlled by the U.S. military, or government. The whole purpose granted to citizens by the Second Amendment is to protect the people from the government

In these times, the government is adverse to the military and even more adverse to the people being organized, armed, and informed. The Second Amendment is slowly being diminished by the government.

Lastly, I believe the majority of the leaders and ranking members of the Homeland Militia should come from our U.S. military veterans, who have experience, but are not part of the present military. 

There are thousands of older veterans who are able and could serve again and they should be given that opportunity. They are a valuable resource that cannot be overlooked, nor under-utilized.

There are many parts and pieces that will need to be developed for this association to happen.  No one person can do this in a vacuum.  It will take the input and ideas from every one of you who reads this.

At this point in time, this is only a survey.  I do not claim to have the solution. We need all of us to participate. 

Please send your comments and suggestions. All ideas will be coordinated into a plan to be published for further refinement. Please also inform family, friends, and associates you know, anyone you feel would have the character and values to be a part of this Homeland Militia Project.

James Hathorn
Sgt. U.S. Air Force
November 1966 – July 1968
Cam Ranh Bay, South Vietnam

Armament & Electronics, 
Weapons Control Systems 
F4C-F4E Phantom fighter bomber 

E-mail James


See Also: 
Live Free Or Die: by Roger A. Sanchez - August 29, 2014


“I am only one, but I am one. I can't do everything, but I can do something. The something I ought to do, I can do, and by the grace of God, I will.” ~Everett Hale


If you are a Vietnam veteran, you are invited to write about anything you would like to share. Send it to me in an e-mail and I will be proud to post it for you.

Memoirs From Nam is YOUR blog.


Friday, August 22, 2014

My Mistress, War: by Sean Moore

3/5 India Company - call sign "Diesel"


My Mistress, War

by Sean Moore

I will always think of her. 
Sometimes fondly. 
And sometimes with disgust and hate. 
When I wake up holding onto my wife, 
I think of her. 
In the quiet hours when I’m alone, 
it is her I am with. 
She is always on my mind. 
She is all I think about.

I miss her, 
and the way she smelled. 
When we were together 
I hardly slept. 
She would keep me up all night. 
And now, more with every passing day, 
it is during the darkest hours of the night
that I lay awake thinking 
of the time we spent together.

Her hate kept me warm 
when I was cold. 
Her rage fueled me, 
drove me, 
and drove me crazy. 
Her screams still haunt me, 
something to never be unheard.

She made me a man. 
She took 
what innocent and childish ways 
that I had, 
and replaced them with a lust
and desire for the forbidden. 
I still want her. 
I still need her. 
Nearly a decade after our first encounter, 
I still feel her presence 
everywhere.

With her, 
I felt as though I was exactly who 
I was supposed to be. 
I always knew what I had to do. 
And life was simple. 
Not easy, but simple.

And then it was over. 
I knew I would never see her again 
but I could never have expected 
how lonely I would be 
without her. 
In nearly every room of my house 
there is some sort of memento 
to remind me of her. 
My body carries scars and tattoos for her. 
I close my eyes and I see her. 
When I sit in silence 
I hear her screams.

I want her. 
Always. 
I need her. 
Never again.

She was my mistress, 
and will be always.

My mistress, War…



Being human is…

by Sean Moore

Fucking exhausting. 
For all of my waking moments, 
sans the precious ones with my wife, 
I pretend.
 
I pretend to be interested, 
and to have emotions. 
I pretend to care
about the little things. 
I pretend that, 
while at the grocery store, 
I’m shopping 
when I feel like I’m hunting.
 
I have to pretend 
that sad things are sad. 
And things that make other people happy 
also make me happy.
 
I have to pretend 
to be ignorant. 
Not so much about intelligence 
(although I do), 
but about the real world. 
Very few people have experienced 
or inhabit the real world.
 
Most people live in the illusion 
of safety and comfort. 
But I know better. 
I know that we are all animals. 
And we break down 
into two categories: 
Hunters and Prey.
 
I know without a doubt 
what I am 
although I will continue to pretend 
to be domesticated.
 
What are you?



Just a Ghost

by Sean Moore

Sitting at panera 
waiting for my order, 
I know there isn’t a person here 
that can actually relate to me. 
And I am OK with that.
 
They see 
but do not see.
They hear 
but do not listen.
 
They exist 
on a different plain than I. 
I am a ghost 
that only passes into their world 
when I want to.
 
I have become an expert 
at being no one to notice. 
But I notice everything.
 
I see 
what is not in plain sight. 
I hear meaning, 
not words.

Always the hunter. 
Never noticed. 
Always watching.



About The Author


Sean Moore served with Third Battalion Fifth Marines India Company from 2003 to 2007. He did two tours in Iraq as a Mortarman and Infantryman. He did the Fallujah Experience in 2004-2005, and then security and stabilization operations back in the Anbar Provence in 2006. 

Sean Moore
Sean left the Marine Corps in November of 2007, and is now trying his handing at writing. He is currently working on a book and also looking at doing a documentary about the American gunfighter.
"It’s been years since I’ve been behind the trigger professionally and yet I still have this drive to keep my skills sharp. 
I, until recently, still frequented the range where I would run through “maintenance drills”. Speed reloads, moving and shooting, off-hand, close in tactical, tactical reloads, multiple target engagement, etc. Backwards and forwards. Inside and out. Anyways preparing for the next hunt. 
I’d run through drills with the SWAT team and critique everything in my head. They basically have their shit together, but as a unit, they lack the hunger. I’m used to being around bad motherfuckers. Professional gunfighters. Wolves amongst sheep. Now they’re gone. Now I have no enemy to fight. 
I think it’s time to hang up my guns and move on. But my hands, they remember the gun. And they won’t forget…."


“I am only one, but I am one. I can't do everything, but I can do something. The something I ought to do, I can do, and by the grace of God, I will.” ~Everett Hale


Add your opinion, thought, or comment, about this post. You are also invited to write about anything you want to share. Send it to me and I will be proud to post it for you.  E-mail CJ

Memoirs From Nam is YOUR blog.



Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Vietnam War Commemoration Logo and Seal

VIETNAM WAR
COMMEMORATION LOGO


About the Logo

A representation of the Vietnam Service Ribbon rests atop the inner rings of the logo.

"The Vietnam Service Medal is awarded to all members of the United States Armed Forces serving in Vietnam and contiguous waters or airspace thereover, and members of the Armed Forces of the United States in Thailand, Laos, or Cambodia, or the airspace thereover, during eligible periods and serving in direct support of operations in Vietnam."

The red, white, and blue inner rings represent the flag of the United States of America.

The outer black ring serves as a reminder of the prisoners of war and those missing in action.

The Great Seal represents the contributions of Federal agencies, governmental and non-governmental organizations that served with, or in support of, the Armed Forces, and the contributions made on the home front by the people of the United States during the Vietnam War.

The six additional seals represent the service and dedication of the men and women of the following organizations, presented in order of precedence, left to right, top to bottom, the U.S. Army, U.S. Marine Corps, U.S. Navy, U.S. Air Force, U.S. Coast Guard, and the U.S. Merchant Marine.

The seven white stars between the seals symbolize the contributions and sacrifices made by the United States and its allies: Vietnam, the Republic of Korea, Australia, New Zealand, Philippines and Thailand.

The center circle contains a map of Vietnam in black, with outlines of Cambodia, Laos, and Thailand representing the contiguous territories where U.S. Armed Forces served.

The gold color of the banner and the center circle represents the 50th Anniversary of the Vietnam War.

The laurel wreath signifies honor to all who served.


Commemoration Seal

ABOUT THE SEAL


"The United States of America Vietnam War Commemoration" is the official title given to the Department of Defense program in the 2008 National Defense Authorization Act.

A representation of the Vietnam Service Medal (ribbon) rests below the inner rings of the Seal.

The red, white, and blue inner rings represent the flag of the United States of America and recognize all Americans, both military and civilian, who served or contributed to the Vietnam War effort.

The outer black ring serves as a reminder of those who were killed in action, held as prisoners of war or listed as missing in action during the Vietnam War. 

The black ring surrounds the red, white and blue rings to call attention to their sacrifices, the sacrifices of their families, and the defense of our nation’s freedom.

Within the blue ring are the words "Service, Valor, and Sacrifice"; virtues demonstrated by our veterans during the Vietnam War. 

The gold-rimmed white star located between the words "Service" and "Valor" represents hope for the families of those veterans for which there has not been a full accounting. 

The blue-rimmed gold star located between the words "Valor" and "Sacrifice" represents the families of those veterans who paid the ultimate sacrifice during the war. 

The blue star at the bottom of the inner blue ring represents the families of all veterans and symbolizes their support from home.

At the bottom of the inner blue ring are six white stars, three on each side of the blue star. These six white stars symbolize the contributions and sacrifices made by the United States and its Allies Australia, New Zealand, The Philippines, Republic of Korea, and Thailand.

The center circle contains a map of Vietnam in black outline relief, signifying both the country and the Vietnamese veterans who stood with our veterans. The subdued outlines of Cambodia, Laos, Thailand and surrounding waters represent the area of operation where U.S. Armed Forces served. 

The white number "50th" emblazoned over the map, and the outer and inner gold rings which make traditional use of the color to signify the 50th anniversary, symbolize the specific mission of the Department of Defense program as outlined in the Congressional language "to commemorate the 50th anniversary of the Vietnam War."

The green laurel wreath signifies honor for all who served.

The seal’s blue background is the same color as the canton in the United States Flag.

"No event in American history is more misunderstood than the Vietnam War. It was misreported then, and it is misremembered now."   Richard Nixon, New York Times, March 28, 1985

“I am only one, but I am one. I can't do everything, but I can do something. The something I ought to do, I can do. And by the grace of God, I will.” ~Everett Hale


Add your opinion, thought, or comment, about this post. You are also invited to write about anything you want to share.  Send it to me in an e-mail and I will be proud to post it for you.

E-mail CJ

Memoirs From Nam is YOUR blog.



Sunday, August 17, 2014

The War That Will Not Let Us Rest

Comancheros of 'A' Co, 101st AHB, 101st ABN, Sept 1970

by Byron Edgington


Recently, I had the privilege of addressing a local High School World History class about the war in South Asia. 

Like many of my fellow Vietnam veterans, and most of my fellow Americans, even fifty years after the fact, my opinion and belief about Vietnam and our efficacy in prosecuting that war has changed time after time.

I was a helicopter pilot in Vietnam. I flew for a year with the 101st Airborne Division based at Camp Eagle in Northern I Corps. In my one-year tour, I logged 1,200 hours in the cockpit. 

I left Vietnam March 17th 1971, and within two days, I mustered out of the Army. I was, quite literally, flying combat sorties on a Monday, and back home in Columbus on Friday. It was surreal, and more than a little disorienting.

I believe my experience matched that of many, if not most, of my colleagues, troops who filtered back into the world alone, unheralded, with little fanfare or opportunity to tell what happened to us, let alone uncover its meaning in our lives.

Here’s what I believe. This may be a minority view, but, as I said, my opinion about Vietnam has altered and changed many times over the years. 

Today, without meaning to be patronizing to my fellow vets, I believe that our actions in Vietnam may have been more heroic than what our fathers did in their war. 

We’ve heard the tales and trials of the Greatest Generation, their unbelievable exploits to defeat the Nazis and the Japanese war machine. We’ve read the books, seen the movies, and heard the trumpeted war stories all our lives. Those men and women were indeed heroes of the highest order for what they did.

Here’s the crucial difference, in my humble opinion: they were faced with a nation at risk of being defeated, subjugated, and crushed under the tyrannical rule of Nazi Germany. The threat to our way of life was real, harsh and immediate. 

It’s no stretch to say that, had our fathers’ generation not fought tooth and nail to defeat those two armies, we may very well be living today under a fascist form of government. The upshot is this; those troops had no choice but to fight through to final victory.

The military we faced in Vietnam was little more than a rag-tag collection of insurrectionists and rebels, a nationalistic band of determined little men, who fought valiantly to unite their small country. The North Vietnamese military and the Viet Cong posed no threat to America. 

They had one goal in mind, to create a unified Vietnam, and to end the artificial separation of their country by foreign nations after the World War.

In other words, those of us who went to Vietnam did not go to protect the borders of this nation, or our culture and way of life. We went simply because we were told to go, and we did. 

Again, in my humble opinion, perhaps those Vietnam vets who still labor under the disillusion that we ‘lost’ the war, or we ‘failed’ in some way, I say take heart. Regardless of how anyone feels now about that war and our part in it, we answered the call, even when it was unnecessary to do so.

Byron Edgington
Byron Edgington

The SkyWriter

Other Articles by Byron Edgington:

War: A Waste of Youth
The Right Seat is the Wrong Seat
Jim, Frank, and The Snake
Smokey, The Alcoholic Pup

Book:
The Sky Behind Me: A Memoir of Flying & Life 

Byron's Website
“I am only one, but I am one. I can't do everything, but I can do something. The something I ought to do, I can do, and by the grace of God, I will.” ~Everett Hale


You are invited to add an opinion, thought, or comment, about this post. Or, write about anything you want to share and send it to me in an e-mail and I will post it for you.

Memoirs From Nam is YOUR blog.


Saturday, August 16, 2014

Ed Freeman: An American Hero

Ed Freeman




Remembering Ed Freeman, Flying Cross and Medal of Honor Recipient, who died at the age of 80, in Boise ID, on August 20, 2008, from complications of Parkinson's Disease.

Ed Freeman was a veteran not only of Vietnam, but of World War II and Korea.  He was laid to rest at the Veterans Cemetery in Idaho, where he settled.   

The story that went viral ...





"You’re an 19 year old kid. You’re critically wounded, and dying in the jungle in the Ia Drang Valley, 11-14-1965, LZ X-ray, Vietnam. 
Your infantry unit is outnumbered 8 to 1, and the enemy fire is so intense, from 100 or 200 yards away, that your own Infantry Commander has ordered the MediVac helicopters to stop coming in.

You’re lying there, listening to the enemy machine guns, and you know you’re not getting out. Your family is halfway around the world, 12,000 miles away, and you’ll never see them again. As the world starts to fade in and out, you know this is "the day".

Then, over the machine gun noise, you faintly hear the sound of a helicopter, and you look up to see an unarmed Huey, but it doesn’t seem real, because no Medi-Vac markings are on it.

Ed Freeman is coming for you. He’s not Medi-Vac, so it’s not his job, but he’s flying his Huey down into the machine gun fire, even after the Medi-Vacs were ordered not to come.

Ed’s coming anyway, and he drops it in and sits there in the machine gun fire, as they load two or three of you on board. Then he flies you up and out through the gunfire to the Doctors and Nurses.

And, he kept coming back. Thirteen more times he came back and took about thirty of you and your buddies out, who would never have gotten out otherwise."

Ed Freeman, Bruce Crandall flying a rescue mission

The story of U.S. Army Veteran Ed Freeman is true. 

However, according to some survivors of the battle, the unarmed Huey actually returned more than 21 times with supplies, evacuating the wounded each trip. 

On that day, more than 70 soldiers were flown to safety by Captain Freeman.



In 2001, Freeman was awarded the nation's highest military honor some 36 years after the fact for his heroic actions as a Vietnam War helicopter pilot on November 14, 1965. 

One of 246 recipients of the Medal of Honor in Vietnam, he was presented with his citation by President George W. Bush which read as follows:

"Captain Ed W. Freeman, United States Army, distinguished himself by numerous acts of conspicuous gallantry and extraordinary intrepidity on 14 November 1965, while serving with Company A, 229th Assault Helicopter Battalion, 1st Cavalry Division (Airmobile). 
As a flight leader and second in command of a 16-helicopter lift unit, he supported a heavily engaged American infantry battalion at Landing Zone X-Ray in the Ia Drang Valley, Republic of Vietnam. 
The unit was almost out of ammunition after taking some of the heaviest casualties of the war, fighting off a relentless attack from a highly motivated, heavily armed enemy force. 
When the infantry commander closed the helicopter landing zone due to intense direct enemy fire, Captain Freeman risked his own life by flying his unarmed helicopter through a gauntlet of enemy fire time after time, delivering critically needed ammunition, water, and medical supplies to the besieged battalion. 
His flights had a direct impact on the battle's outcome by providing the engaged units with timely supplies of ammunition critical to their survival, without which they would almost surely have gone down, with much greater loss of life. 
After medical evacuation helicopters refused to fly into the area due to intense enemy fire, Captain Freeman flew 14 separate rescue missions, providing life-saving evacuation of an estimated 30 seriously wounded soldiers -- some of whom would not have survived had he not acted. 
All flights were made into a small emergency landing zone within 100 to 200 meters of the defensive perimeter where heavily committed units were perilously holding off the attacking elements. 
Captain Freeman's selfless acts of great valor, extraordinary perseverance and intrepidity were far above and beyond the call of duty, or mission, and set a superb example of leadership and courage for all of his peers. 
Captain Freeman's extraordinary heroism and devotion to duty are in keeping with the highest traditions of military service and reflect great credit upon himself, his unit, and the United States Army."

Ed Freeman receiving Medal of Honor


In March of 2009, the United States Congress bestowed one more honor to Major Freeman. 

They designated the US Post Office in his place of birth McLain, Mississippi, the "Major Ed W. Freeman Post Office." 






“I am only one, but I am one. I can't do everything, but I can do something. The something I ought to do, I can do, and by the grace of God, I will.” ~Everett Hale

You are invited to add an opinion, thought, or comment, about this post.  Or, write about anything you want to share and send it to me in an e-mail and I will post it for you.  

Memoirs From Nam is YOUR blog.


Friday, August 15, 2014

Drafting Guys Over 60

(self-explanatory photo)

I am over 50 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards ...

Instead of sending 18-year old's off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-old's think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while..

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured, we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however ... I've been in combat and I never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push ups after completing basic training. Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too ... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. 18-year old's still haven't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head!

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way. Let us old guys track down those terrorists. 

The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons who already know their best years are far behind them.

HEY!  How about recruiting women over 50, the ones in menopause! You think men have attitudes? Ohhhh my God! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!


[Author Unknown:  Contributed to Memoirs From Nam by Joe Parente] 
***Too Funny!  Thanks, Joe! ~CJ


“I am only one, but I am one. I can't do everything, but I can do something. The something I ought to do, I can do, and by the grace of God, I will.” ~Everett Hale


You are invited to add an opinion, thought, or comment, about this post. Or, write about anything you want to share and send it to me in an e-mail and I will post it for you.

Memoirs From Nam is YOUR blog.


Wednesday, August 13, 2014

More Thoughts on War and Youth


Frank Fox

by Frank Fox


I think that men in uniform serve their country by serving each other. They serve as a unit, just as any team such as a professional baseball team, because the military are professionals.

In a ballgame it doesn't take much to empty a dugout. If one player gets in a conflict, the rest will jump into the fray.

The same is true with the military. They are there as a team and duty bound to one another. Being away from home, they are in a different dimension of time from loved one's and family. They are forever young. It's why veterans stick together -- they are still apart of a team.

I served with a Corpsman named Danny Grimshaw. He lost his life in 1968. I can put his name in search and it will tell me all about Danny and how many brothers and sisters he had. It will tell me where his name is on the Vietnam Memorial Wall. It has his photo, also in uniform.

What always grabs me is how young he is in the photo, frozen in time. When I look at myself in the mirror, I see an aging senior citizen, like a different dimension in time. Danny died 46 years ago. I can remember him most for always mooching smokes from everyone, and how rail thin he was. I also remember how much he loved his family and felt he was sacrificing for them.

Over 58,000 soldiers, men and women, forever frozen in time. I also think that for everyone of them, there was a bus load of families left with a large void. Time and other family events help to fill the void, God helps us that way mercifully.

When I got off of active duty in June 1968, I had an anger at the youth who escaped the Vietnam Conflict by moving to Canada. Many moved with the help of their parents to avoid the draft and being thrown into the meat grinder that Vietnam was.

"How dare they turn their backs on America." I thought at the time. Then I was outraged when Jimmy Carter decided to give amnesty to the draft dodgers. What a slap in the faces of those who were led to slaughter by their government.

Then as one get's older, they realize how the government capriciously uses the youth of our country to wage war, maybe for no reason, and usually always for profit of big business, and real estate.

During WW2, when the men were away, many took advantage of their families and wrested their land and property away from them for a song. Making profit off of young men and women serving their country should be a criminal offense.

After I became a parent, I grew rather fond of my children. If I were to follow mainstream politics and see where warring was not really necessary, just the whim of an idiot running the country, I too may find a way to keep my children from being thrown under the bus.

Then the war in Iraq started, (which I was against); nevertheless, many parents had children who could not wait to go and sign up, to get some pay back. Smoke and mirrors. What they really couldn't see was industry wringing their hands, just waiting to increase their profits. The 'machine' stirred up the people to get the nation on their side. Really talented people prevaricated us into another conflict that would consume our precious youth.

Other people with small children thought the war would be over and their children would not be in peril. Now their children are of age, and just as always (about 10 years), we tire of warring. Companies have reaped large gains without any of their skin in the game.

Sadly, some parents are only left with photo's and VHS memories. Others have their children back, but they will need constant care for many years and a life time of disability.

We need only to pick up arms, when we are threatened at home or abroad. There's not a vet who would not fight for this country and it's flag, IF we aren't lied to, and the cause a just one. They use minds they can bend in our youth. After we get older, we would question aggressive force.

Frank Fox
Combat Medic
Sea/Air Rescue
US Navy with USMC
August 1964 – August 1970 (6 years 1 month)


More Articles by Frank Fox:

A Different Perspective


“I am only one, but I am one. I can't do everything, but I can do something. The something I ought to do, I can do, and by the grace of God, I will.” ~Everett Hale


You are invited to add an opinion, thought, or comment, about this post. Or, write about anything you want to share and send it to me in an e-mail and I will post it for you.  E-mail CJ

Memoirs From Nam is YOUR blog.


My Thoughts: by Michael Roman

Michael Roman
To say I've had mixed emotions about Vietnam is an understatement. 

My mother and father are both WWII veterans (now deceased). My mother's family had relatives in every War dating back to the French and Indian Wars, with exception to Iraq and Afghistan. 

I volunteered for the Army in 1968, volunteered for Vietnam in 1969, and volunteered to extend my tour. 

I drank for the 1st year after my return to "the World".  I wanted to forget, try to forgive, and to re-establish a place in "the World".

For me, it did not happen. I probably had a chip on my shoulder, but then maybe not.

I spent my first Christmas with my mother and father and mom's family in Texas. Mom's next to youngest brother was a retired Command Sargent Major, twice my size. 

We almost came to blows when one of my mother's sisters asked what I felt about Vietnam. I told her it was a waste of my time, my friends lives, and a waste of money. We accomplished nothing. My uncle did not agree and explained his point of view.

It took several years for me to understand his statements. But I now understand and agree. We go because we are sent. But we serve, because it is our duty. We do not question, we just do it. 

It is up to the politicians to be correct (right or wrong is a point of debate). It appears that where our house of cards tumbles is because of "professional politicians". The simple answer is to eliminate the "professional status" opportunity from the politician.

We should stand in defense of the weak, oppressed, infirm, uneducated, and helpless. We should serve our country for a mandatory period, whether it is in armed service, political service, medical service, or human services.

War is a terrible thing. Sometimes the wrong people die. But we must defend our country and ensure that there are no more Hitlers, Hussains, or Mussolinis, to name a few, to act as tyrants to endanger our liberty and our freedom.

Michael Roman
U.S. Army Spec 5
March 1968 – November 1970 (2 years 9 months)
Service - Republic of Vietnam May 1969 - November 1970

Basic - Ft. Leonard Wood, MO
Advanced Individual Training - Ft. Monmouth, NJ
U.S. Army Signal Center and School
Crypto, Radio & Teletype Maintenance


“I am only one, but I am one. I can't do everything, but I can do something. The something I ought to do, I can do, and by the grace of God, I will.” ~Everett Hale


You are invited to add an opinion, a thought, or a comment, about this post.  Or write about anything you want to share and send it to me in an e-mail and I will post it for you.  E-mail CJ 

Memoirs From Nam is YOUR blog.



Tuesday, August 12, 2014

The Promise: by Jack Murphy




The song, "The Promise", is dedicated to all Vietnam veterans.  

It was written and composed by Vietnam veteran singer/songwriter, Jack Murphy, a former Redcatcher in Delta Company, 5th Battalion, 12th Infantry, 199th Light Infantry Brigade, Vietnam 1969-1970.

Murphy's song, “The Promise,” has been getting a lot of attention.  In his words, 
“I wrote it as my way of giving something back to those that gave so much during the Vietnam War.  As far as the story about the song, it is my true story as it is everyone’s story that was in the Vietnam War. 
You make a friend, you talk about home, and your girl, and your car, and then one day, one of you is gone. 
This song is my way of giving something back to those that gave so much, those of us that try to cope every day for the rest of our lives, with the memory of their loss.”




Jack Murphy
Delta Co. 5/12
199th light infantry brigade
1969-1970






“I am only one, but I am one. I can't do everything, but I can do something. The something I ought to do, I can do, and by the grace of God, I will.” ~Everett Hale

Do you have an opinion, or a comment, you would like to share about this post? Click on the comment button.